Finding My Healthy: Part 1

There was a time in my life when my disordered eating habits finally caught up with me.  I would avoid eating until two in the afternoon and then as little food as I could manage. I worked nights so waking up mid-morning was normal. It was coffee, diet coke, and water to keep me full. It didn’t feel like disorder.  I basked in the complements of how thin and skinny I was.  

Me 6 years ago, before I started lifting. Not at my heaviest but close to it.

Fast forward a few years later.  I couldn't keep up with the not eating and starving myself.  I started eating and I didn’t really know how anymore. There were binges, being so full and miserable, and the attempts to restrict that failed more and more often at this point.  So I took to skipping real food, these were the nights when I would eat half a bag of candy for dinner.  We are talking family sized not small bags.

Few more years later and in the midst of a bad break up.  I just ate and ate and ate.  How do you cope with emotions.  I eat.  I am an emo eater, always will be.  There was weight gain, there were freakouts about the weight gain, and there were some big choices that needed to be made. It was time to put an end to the disorder and create something new.  The something new has taken years but it has been worth it.